All of us in the United Kingdom know the deal by now: on June 23 the Conservative Government is putting the country to the vote in a referendum on whether the U.K. should stay in the European Union, or leave it entirely and lose all of its alleged ‘benefits.’  And it appears to be a rare instance where both Prime Minister David Cameron and Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn both agree: we must stay in.  At the time of writing, the latest YouGov opinion poll also suggests that the ‘Remain’ campaign has a slight lead over the ‘Leave’ one.  Of course, with more than two months to go, that could change either way.

One thing I will give the Tories credit for is their continual negotiation to keep Britain out of the Euro.  We have seen over the last few years how several nations, Greece in particular, have fallen foul of it; if Greece catches a cold, then Portugal sneezes.  For Britain to join the Euro would be heading for eventual disaster.  However, as recently as February of this year, the Prime Minister yet again negotiated that, even if Britain stays in the EU, then we as a nation have no plans to switch to the Euro currency.  Good.

Many of my devoted fans have been asking me: should we stay or should we go?  And I’ll be honest with you; it’s not been an easy decision to make.  But come down on one side or the other I must, if only so that I don’t depart the polling station on June 23 with nothing to show for it but a spoiled paper.  As much as I have to say this through gritted teeth, I find myself agreeing with the Prime Minister and the ‘Remain’ campaign.  We should, in all conscience, stay in the European Union.

Certain un-named members of my acquaintances hold a very different view.  We should leave, they say, close the borders to all foreigners and stop the Polish and the Portuguese coming over and taking our jobs.  All they do is come over, sign up for child benefit and send that back to their home country.  To those individuals who have expressed that opinion to me, I say this: Why do people come over from Portugal and Poland (and other countries) in the first instance?  Because the jobs are vacant and available!  If we British are too lazy to take those jobs, why not bring people in from other nations and welcome them?

Another view held by the ‘Leave’ campaign is that Britain will somehow lose its national identity if we stay in the EU.  Really?  This country has been in the EuroZone (or ‘Common Market’ as it was once known) since 1973 and I don’t see any loss of the British-ness so beloved by Europe.  We are still able to travel to other countries and destroy their pubs and clubs, shouting racist obscenities and beating the holy shit out of citizens of the host nation purely for the crime of supporting the opposing football team.  Doesn’t that just make you feel proud?  So don’t worry, UKIP, we can remain in the EU and still be British.

It is very likely that the EU Referendum is the primary reason why the Conservatives won the last General Election, held in May 2015.  As early as 2013 they promised it during the next Parliament should they win, and lo and behold they did.  I thought I would throw that thought in there.

Another random thought: the Leave campaign tell us that up to a million jobs could be created if Britain frees itself from the shackles of EU regulation; while the Remain campaign say an equivalent number of jobs could be lost as car manufacturers, for example, leave Britain to find cheaper EU countries in which to mass-produce.

Nigel Farage and his lot point to Norway and Switzerland, two countries very much on the European map but not member states of the EU.  They are still able to deal, or trade with the EU, but are not constricted by its laws on agriculture and fishing, for example.  And both, sadly, are still able to produce the most dreadful entries for  the Eurovision Song Contest.

The Remain campaign also point to Norway and Switzerland; however it is with the proviso that they are still bound by EU regulations without having any say whatsoever on how those regulations are formed and passed.  Thus it would ever be the same for Britain; bound by rules passed by pin-striped pen-pushers in Brussels without having had our ten pence worth during their creation.

Remember, racists, that as much as people from Portugal have the right to come over here and take ‘your’ jobs away from you, you have the same rights to travel to Portugal – and indeed any of the 27 other nations in the EU – and work and live there.  And you can still buy The Sun there.  The more I think about it, the more I have become convinced that we as a nation must stay in the European Union.  The pros, in my view, far outweigh the cons.  And I get the feeling that the majority of Britain will agree with me on June 23.  x