Yesterday, Boris Fucking Johnson surprised everyone by becoming Prime Minister of the ‘United Kingston,’ as Ivana Trump so eloquently put it.

There are plenty of words in the English language to describe the fear that this puts into the hearts of many; indeed, the man who was not Boris’ ancestor, Samuel Johnson, put enough words into the Oxford English Dictionary back in 1755 to do that job.

Since the Conservative Party came to office in 2010, Boris has become its third Prime Minister.  He is, you will be astounded to learn, educated outside of the British state school system; he went first to Eton, then to Oxford – a bit like David Pig-Fucking Cameron, really.  I dread to think what species of deceased non-human Johnson has had his wicked way with.

Of course, the major political policy that has seen Johnson, like any decent scum, rise to the top, was and is Brexit.

Johnson has said that, although he does not intend to aim for a no-deal Brexit, it would be ‘irresponsible’ not to prepare for that outcome, should it be necessary.  Britain, as both of you know, is scheduled to leave the European Union, and all its benefits, on October 31, which is a Thursday, I believe.

Johnson believes that the UK must leave the EU on that date, with or without a deal.  He thinks that the ‘no-deal Brexit’ is a ‘vital negotiating tool,’ and must be dangled in front of the negotiators from the other nations.

This, in itself, is a measure of Johnson’s delusion.  His idea that, if we threaten the EU with, well, we’ll go without a deal then, they are going to run after us, pleading “No, no, please don’t go!” is crazy at best and an outright lie at worst.

If we have no deal by October 31, the EU will, quite properly in my opinion, merely tell us to fuck off.  Now, I don’t want that to happen.  I would like us to go on our hands & knees, politically speaking of course, and apologise to the EU president, saying, “We’re so very sorry for all the trouble we have caused you.  It was the politically inept and short-sighted half of the population that voted for it, I’m afraid – what can I say?”

I don’t want another thick, croaked animal-fucking Eton spoonfed, Oxford-wasted Tory jerkoff as Prime Minister, thank you very much.

 Check this photo out.  It was taken in October 2017 and shows Boris Fucking Johnson shaking hands with Donald Jesushesa Chump at some boring meeting or other, probably the United Nations or some dull fucking nonsense like that.  Trump is the one on the right.  Look similar, don’t they?  It’s going to cause trouble, and I bet you the media will pick up on it soon enough.  I’m amazed at how many things I’ve spotted in the past, and six months later, the media is all over it like they’ve just discovered it!  I expect you have both had experiences like that – you notice that, Christ, they do look alike, don’t they?  Six months down the line, the world’s newspapers will be screaming: “Boris FUCKING Johnson and Donald Jesushesa TRAMP; Two P’s in a Pod!” (P’s – President – Prime Minister?  Get it?  Oh, never mind…zzzzz).  And you’ll be screaming back: “But I was saying that six months ago!”  They also had similar backgrounds, both were TV hosts of the more, er, light-hearted side of things.

Look, I’ll not make this a long one; we all know what time it is, and we all know that both the UK and the USA are going to be royally fucked up the arse with a snapped broom handle from now on.

Let’s hope Boris FUCKING Johnson calls an election, and soon.  And let’s hope he severely misjudges the mood of the nation and fails at the first hurdle to win public backing for his so-called policies.  Because, after all, there’s always the alternative, isn’t there?  Isn’t there?  Isn’t there???  Oh dear, that’s the subject of another blog altogether (cue large crowd saying, ‘That’s the subject of a different blog!’). x