First of all, may I point out from the outset that, in this rant, I shall be referring to concert tickets, and not airlines, or travel, or any such like.

So, this morning, tickets to go and see prog-rock legends GENESIS were ‘released’ to the public for them to snap up for themselves to go and see this band’s first concert tour in 13 years.

Now, Genesis are one of those tricky bands that existed for a number of years with three different lineups.  There were others but I’m just talking about those since Phil Collins joined on drums in 1971.  The ‘classic’, pre-1975 lineup included: Peter Gabriel (vocals), Steve Hackett (guitars), Phil Collins (drums), Mike Rutherford (bass) and Tony Banks (keyboards).  In 1975, after Gabriel’s departure for a solo career, Collins took over on vocals and live drummer Chester Thompson was brought in.  Furthermore,  Steve Hackett left in 1977 and, while Rutherford could take over some of the guitar parts, he simply wasn’t in Hackett’s league, so live guitarist Daryl Stuermer was brought in to play those tricky Hackett parts Rutherford couldn’t play.  But these were live performers only.  In the studio, Genesis were now a three-piece.

Bear with me; this detail of the band’s history does have some relevance.

In 1996, Phil Collins announced that he was leaving Genesis, because his personal life was suffering as he was touring for, say, two years as a soloist; he would then go into the studio, record an album, and then tour two years with Genesis.  The two remaining members of the band, Rutherford and Banks, recruited former Stiltskin singer Ray Wilson to replace Collins.  For touring, they recruited Nir Zidkyahu (drums) and Anthony Drennan (guitars) to cover Thompson & Stuermer, who were both on tour with Phil Collins at the time.

The 1998 lineup, the final one, sank like a sack of shit.  I went to see the band at Earls Court on the ‘Calling All Stations’ tour, on 27 February 1998, and it was awful.  Wilson had no charisma at all, and when they tried to do the ‘I Can’t Dance’ silly walk around the arena, it was embarrassing.  Nobody knew where to look.  At the conclusion of that tour, Banks and Rutherford finally decided they had had enough, and formally disbanded Genesis.

That was the end, or so everybody thought; all the band members were still friends, and in 2007 they decided to put that friendship to the test once again by touring as Genesis with the ‘pop’ lineup from the 1980s – Collins, Banks and Rutherford (with Thompson & Stuermer) would tour the world’s stadiums making pots of money.  It was one of the top-grossing tours of the year.  I saw them on that tour also, and, despite limited view at Twickenham Stadium (I also saw them the day before at the Live Earth concert), they were fantastic.  That was the end.

Or, so everybody thought.

On Wednesday, 4 March, 2020, Collins, Banks and Rutherford appeared on Zoe Ball’s breakfast show in the UK to announce a British tour which would mark their first live appearance since 2007.  What?  Still no Gabriel, no Hackett?  No; the official reason is that Collins, through various health problems including a number of quite serious back operations, is no longer able to play the drums, and, if Gabriel were to return, Collins would not be able to play drums for a whole concert.  Furthermore, touring drummer Chester Thompson had retired, so he would not be along for the 2020 tour, which, to date, only includes gigs in the UK.  Fans in the rest of the world were left disappointed.

Who to play drums?  I’ve got someone who can play, Collins said to the rest of the band.  His own son, Nic, has been bangin’ on the bongos like a chimpanzee since Collins himself resumed touring in 2017.  At the time, young Nic was just fifteen years old, and here he was in a professional band led by his old man!

We shall see how young Collins Jr. copes with the 15/8, 11/4, etc. time signatures that the band’s most prog-rock music demands.  Playing in Phil’s more pop-oriented music is one thing; a 25-minute prog medley is quite another.

At least, some will see that; but I won’t.  Why, as a confirmed Genesis fan for almost 40 years, will I not, I hear you both ask.

Because the f***ing tickets are too expensive, that’s why!  They are playing a number of concerts in the UK, and the tickets are split into four bands: £68.15 / £85.35 / £136.50 / £176.50 are the base rate prices.  That is daylight robbery in itself.  Seventy pounds for a restricted view of a band whose drummer can’t play and is replaced by his son, two of whose members will never play with the band again, and the other two who clearly need the money.  That can be the only reason for this tour – maximise income for the minimum of work.  Phil Collins’ health is very poor at the moment; why is he doing this?

But those base rate ticket prices, I’m sure you’re both aware, will not be enough for the online ticket touts – sorry, agencies.  Head over to Ticketmaster, I was told, and buy tickets from Friday, 6 March (today, readers of the future), and buy your tickets there.

Of course, all the tickets sold out in double time, and additional dates were added at all of those venues, except the one in London, for some reason.  What they don’t tell you is that ticket agencies are allowed to buy tickets in huge blocks, normally the best seats, to sell them at ridiculous prices to gullible customers in ‘Platinum’ packages.  Live Nation are selling these tickets at… wait for it… eight hundred pounds (UK) each!!!  You can buy a maximum of four tickets, which will cost you about three thousand two hundred pounds!!!  For you and three mates!  It’s unbelievable.  Basically a ‘platinum’ ticket is the gig plus dinner thrown in.  And people are buying them!  Who?  How???

Anyone who has been to a rock concert will know about the touts who go up and down the queues waiting to get into the venue, asking for “any spare tickets, buy or sell.”  These people are the Devil, according to the official sellers, because, of course, they take their profits away from them.

But the online ticket agencies – and I mean you, Ticketmaster, Viagogo, Live Nation, Stub Hub (two thousand pounds per ticket in the front block), and the rest of you – You are scam artists – touts – of the highest order where concert tickets are concerned.  What you practice should be made illegal.  You limit people to four tickets per purchase so that it’s ‘fair,’ but you then slap on anything up to 1000% of the ticket price for your own profit!  It’s wrong.

A few weeks ago, I went to see a Pink Floyd tribute band in Malvern Theatre for twelve pound fifty pence.  This is what I plan to do from now on, you thieves!  I will go to a tribute band concert – in this case, Genesis – rather than see the band themselves.  Only one of them will be playing with real affection for the music, and I can pretty much guarantee that it won’t be Genesis. x